Friday, March 6, 2015

Mom on the Strand

I have been honored to meet Melissa Metzger, owner of the new Mom on the Strand magazine, a resource for all families here in Myrtle Beach, and surrounding Grand Strand areas.

I got to write a little article for the second edition just released in February 2015. You can find FREE issues in your local businesses. I saw my first at the Second Cup Coffee (right next door to The Fresh Market in Northwood Plaza on 79th Avenue North).

This was my first article in a widely read publication, so be gentle! :) I wanted to let women know that there are tools available to make the childbirth process feel more like something you are DOING, rather than something that is happening TO YOU. It really can be a source of immense pride to fuel you throughout your life, instead of something to escape or fear.



Check out page 5!

"A woman must know herself
and dig deep within
before she braves the journey to motherhood."



Friday, February 20, 2015

Too Much to Ask

This is going to be a little weird. Also, maybe anti-blogging-etiquette, but I'm doing it anyway.
There are SO MANY passionate writings about mommy wars, and breastfeeding/bottlefeeding choices (if you run in the right circles). But, I LOVE this one so much, I'm going to copy and post it here. In my very own, not very eloquent, not very revolutionary blog.

It is by Melissa Beck (nee Howard), who first became a public figure when she graced our televisions on The Real World - New Orleans waaay back in 2000. Since then, she became an active blogger, and now maintains a tumblr page about really, anything that inspires her I guess. She now has two children, so some of her topics have naturally evolved towards motherhood, babies, etc. I came across this article today, and it seemed an appropriate complement to the dramatic commentary that has come about in response the the recent Similac formula commercial. I actually liked the commercial. It made me laugh. It made me cry. I was stirred. I was refocused on what is important to me, and how I can alter my words and actions to reflect what is important to me.

Anyway, Melissa Beck has made a living out of expressing her opinion, and she does it incredibly well with eloquence and humor. One of the characteristics I respect most in people is the ability to arrange their words to be both thought provoking and kind.

For some reason, I can't just post a direct link to the blog post, so that is why I am just going to copy it here, with all of the link backs and credit statements to make it clear that this is NOT MY CONTENT, but they are words that I thought deserved to be spread and pondered.

Here ya go...


Blog by Melissa Beck
Date: August 7, 2014
Title: Yes, It's Too Much To Ask.

Jessica Valenti, a person I should probably Google first to decipher if she's trolling me for click bait with this shit, wonders, "Is it too much to ask that mothers who bottle-feed - by necessity or choice - are given the same kind of adoration as gorgeous, breast-feeding celebrities? We love our kids too, you know."

She continues her hissy fit with, "I mean, Gwen Stefani posted a picture on Instagram of herself breastfeeding in gorgeous Switzerland,; then came the photograph of Olivia Wilde in Glamour magazine breastfeeding in full-on evening wear. " 

How dare they be fabulous while breastfeeding! The nerve!

Well, pick me. Pick me. I have the answer to your question. 

Yes, it's too much too ask lady. Especially when in the next breath you say, "the harassment mothers still face when they breastfeed in public is outrageous." Asking that is akin to whining, "Why do black people have Black History Month? That's not really fair to white people now is it?"

I really wasn't aware of a full-on campaign to exclude bottle-feeding mothers from a constant barrage of celebration. I mean, one of the universal symbols for BABY is a fucking bottle. Let's browse through all the millions of photos, countless cover stories, of celebrities bottle-feeding their children, shall we?

So basically, when you see a breastfeeding mother being celebrated on that rare (#veryrare) occasion, it makes you have feelings about your choice and so the solution, you're asking the world for, is for us to please, please stop celebrating them altogether. Even though you're fully aware of the countless examples of women being told to cover up or leave an establishment because they dared to feed their children with their tits. Nine hundred thousand results in half a second on Google, if you're wondering how normal it is for a breastfeeding woman to encounter some asshole. You acknowledge this is a problem but please no more photos of breastfeeding mothers because rude!


When you say, "as long as they are making the choices that are right for them and their children, I'm all for it." Are you though? You can't have it both ways. You can't complain that breastfeeding mothers are given one glossy page of coverage and then put your lips together and say you're all for anything as long as we don't judge. You're not "all for" anything. You're all for only seeing images that reinforce your choices because somehow, some way, the mere sight of a mother making a choice different than yours without having said boo to you or about you, makes you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to regale us with several paragraphs of all the reasons why couldn't or didn't breastfeed. "The baby was 2 pounds." "The stress!" "The failed milk production." "That darn pump." Nobody asked that shit. Nobody cares that you bottle-fed. And really, a stranger on the street approached you and said "YOU TERRIBLE BOTTLE-FEEDER YOU." 

Okay Jessica. Sure thing.

Now, if there were condescending, judgmental words actually attached to these breastfeeding photos, you might have a peg of a leg to stand on. Hector Barbossa. But you're mad at a celebrity photo. You're mad at the message the photo might send. Ignoring the 75% chance that the photo may also, quite possibly, stupid likely, generate disgust. You're mad at the message you received from the photo and thus the photo can be no more. That's not cool.

In fact, I had a feeling like the one you're having. When Josie Maran gave birth under a lavender tree as a wolf howled at the night sky, I felt like an absolute piece of shit for wanting drugs before I pushed my baby out of my vagina as the "impatient doctors" poked and prodded me with all those "beeping monitors" But see, Josie actually said out loud that my choice was trash. She said the "intensity" of natural childbirth "prepares you to be a great mom," as if to say delivery with medical intervention is a shortcut and therefore you have already failed as a mother. I would have been cool with all the photos of her gallivanting through wildflowers in flowy white gown. She's pretty. I liked her Argan Oil. I was cool with her. I can dig that. But she said out loud that I, along with every other dreaded hospital birther, was the worst. That was the problem. 

The way Josie told he story made me pause and rethink how I talk about breastfeeding. I assure you, I never set out to make folks feel bad about their choices. But breastfeeding support is important. So yes, we need the pictures to go with the words of encouragement. Sorry about it, boo.

I don't recall Gwen (you can Google a photo of her also bottle feeding) or Olivia telling you you were a piece of shit though. A photo of a breastfeeding mother shouldn't send you into a tailspin of woe. Stop judging yourself maybe? Maybe start there before you put the kibosh on photos I'd like to see, that the world needs to see, so that one day I don't have to shoot daggers across the room at people who are actually judging me for feeding my child with my breasts. 

How about that?


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Amen Melissa!!
~Amanda Hynes, CD(DONA), LCCE

Monday, November 24, 2014

Lamaze International

I am so proud to be able to display my LCCE (Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator) credentials.
Lamaze International is truly an amazing, evolving, and solid organization that I am psyched to contribute to and learn from.





Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Why Not Home?


It is a beautiful thing when you come into contact with someone who emanates your own thoughts back to you, in such an elegant, inspired way that you want to cheer. Or cry.

It is these moments that bring me peace and help me realize that I am on the right path. I am making the right choices. I am gently and purposefully moving through this life that I love, in a way that makes me proud.

Her name is Jessicca Moore.
(Yes, two C's. I saw it in two different places...I'm 90% sure that's correct). :)


Jessicca Moore


She is producing and directing a new documentary about homebirth. It is rare that someone with such an intense medical background, (a nurse practitioner, in the field of neonatal and pediatric intensive care) shows this much impartial interest in educating the public about homebirth. Her documentary highlights those in the medical field who chose to have their babies at home, facilitating honest discussion about the safety and risks of this option in comparison to the traditional hospital birth.

By focusing on hospital birth providers who chose home birth, I hope to bring a voice of moderation to the discussion. Together, we can move toward real improvements to maternity care in hospitals AND at home for women, families, and society.

It speaks VOLUMES that doctors and nurses who see first hand the way the hospital machine treats laboring woman would choose homebirth. They place themselves in a challenging position of receiving negative feedback from their peers in the industry, and being forced to personally evaluate the standard intervention procedures so routine in most hospitals. Jessicca states that many kept their choice private so as to avoid such criticism.

Jessicca speaks my own mind when she says,

I looked at my risks in and out of the hospital and decided I felt that I had the best chance of as safe and uncomplicated natural birth in my own home surrounded by people I knew and trusted. My family and some of my colleges disagreed.

When 1 in 3 laboring women who enter a hospital, emerge as a surgical patients, something needs to change, and it's not the normal birth process, it is the system that surrounds it.

This is everything I'd want to share, if I were as smart and talented as this team! :) Enjoy!




Follow this link to donate to the cause!

http://www.documentary.org/film/why-not-home


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

All That Matters

There is one phrase in the birthing world that really frosts my cookies.

Who am I kidding? There are many. But, A#1 at the top of the list, is:
“All that matters is that baby and mother are healthy.”

“Why is that?” you may ask.
“What kind of childbirth educator would find this objectionable?” this you may ask.

When I first observed my discontent with this phrase, I asked myself the same questions.
What kind of childbirth educator…what kind of person...WOULD have a problem with this?

First, it seems odd to me that a family should feel the need to pronounce “healthy mom and healthy baby” as the goal of their birth experience. If it is not implied and obvious to their birth team and everyone else, then there is a real problem. It is implied and obvious outside of the birthing realm. We generally all want our families and ourselves healthy and safe, but you don’t hear people repeating this mantra in everyday life. Why is that? Because it is a fundamental principle fueling our actions that typically does not require explanation. When discussing a family’s birth goals, I ask them to leave out “healthy mom and baby” because to me, that is an empirical assumption.

There is something about the absolute nature of the statement that doesn’t sit right with me.

Is it really true? Is healthy mom and healthy baby ALL that matters?

Too many times, I have left the statement alone as the end of the conversation. Too many times, I simply had no response. But to me, these benign words do so much to marginalize the childbirth experience. This notion puts the spotlight on the end result and skips past the journey. Honestly, many times I hear it from a male partner. Husbands have the primitive impulse to protect their women and families (which is lovely!), and it’s probably not a stretch to say they would generally appreciate fast-forwarding to the happy ending when mother and baby are together.  Through no fault of their own, men are naturally unaware of the true intensity of the physical and emotional ups and downs involved in birthing a child into the world.

The entire path of pregnancy and birth is extremely important. It can be a great source of power for women in motherhood and throughout their lives. Being aware of your own strength from this accomplishment is a wonderful gift to give oneself. Women with high levels of birth satisfaction are better armed for the challenges of parenthood. They have a source of well-earned, life-long pride that can never be taken away.

The birth partner can also greatly benefit from an empowered birth experience. Although not doing the actual birthing, they get a rare chance to observe their chosen mate facing one of the greatest challenges of our world, for the love and benefit of their children and entire family. In my humble opinion, this cannot help but strengthen the bonds of love.

When one skips over this indelible experience to the end result, “healthy mom and healthy baby” is really the bare minimum expectation. It seems close to saying, “We just want to get out of this thing alive” and really, shouldn't we be aiming a little higher than that?

There is something about the timing of the statement

It doesn't come from an unmediated mother who just pushed out her baby and is bathing in surges of endorphins. It doesn't come from a laboring mother sitting in a warm tub in the arms of her husband. It comes from women whose birth is not unfolding as envisioned. It comes at the end of empowerment, when decision making capabilities (along with minds and bodies) have been exhausted. When we are just too tired to think anymore and ready to turn over the decision making to the care provider and their priorities. Too many times, the statement is an effort to convince ourselves that the choice we are about to make really is for the best.

I’ve never heard it from a birthing mother who was confident of her decisions. An educated family aware of the evidence supporting their decisions and the various risks, benefits and alternatives to those decisions, understands that their path is leading to “healthy mom and healthy baby”. They do not need to convince or remind themselves why. They already know.

What does it mean?

Of course we want a healthy baby and mom. But that is not achieved at any one moment in time. Each decision made from the moment the pregnancy test says positive, each choice, each bend in the journey towards birth, will DEFINE what “healthy baby and healthy mom” means to you and your family.

When a family makes the choice to travel down the road of induction or cesarean surgery, they are choosing to believe that their baby is at greater risk remaining inside the womb, than being brought to the outside. Will you allow yourself a glass of wine during pregnancy? Will you choose a care provider who performs episiotomies at will without consulting with mom and dad? Will you choose to birth in a hospital, where you are virtually guaranteed to be separated from you baby at some point, for some duration within his first 24 hours of life?

Each tiny, seemingly insignificant choice is your creation of your “healthy mom and healthy baby”.  It is not one fixed goal. It is a moving target that gets bigger and louder and harder to focus on as your infant becomes a rambunctious, bouncing girl, or an inquisitive, imaginative boy. Your ever-evolving definition of “healthy” does not stop the moment the cord is cut and you become two individuals. It is a lifelong quest.

Finally, if by “healthy mom and baby” one simply means seeking the same degree of mental, physical and emotional functioning that you had when you began, I can assure you, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. Absolutely, unequivocally, impossible.

This journey will change you.

This journey MATTERS.


Of all of the unknowns about birth, this I can guarantee.

~Amanda Hynes, CD(DONA), LCCE

Friday, January 17, 2014

Lamaze of Today


I've been wanting to organize my thoughts on the AMAZING organization that is Lamaze International for a while now.
Nothing like outside inspiration to get my fingers in gear. :)
I'm proud to be participating in a website database of all birth providers in the Myrtle Beach Grand Strand area. 
www.MyrtleBeachBirthServices.com
I will be linking articles from there to this blog, I'm sure. It is a strong and educated group of women.
But, on we go...




LAMAZE OF TODAY
by Amanda Hynes, CD(DONA), LCCE


HEE HEE HEE…
HOO HOO HOO….

That is what typically comes to mind when you say the word “Lamaze”.

“That thing with the breathing”

When I first began educating myself about childbirth, I was wary about the Lamaze philosophy, because I had heard they promoted this crazy breathing that had been proven to be detrimental. Like many people, I immediately linked this antiquated patterned breathing with the organization. Happily, with only a cursory amount of further investigation, I learned that *hee hee hoo hoo* has long been left in the past. Since it’s beginning in 1960, Lamaze International has evolved into a globally respected community of birth advocates and educators.

This isn’t your mama’s Lamaze!

The moment I began evaluating my options for formal training as a childbirth educator, Lamaze International stood head and shoulders above the rest. Why?
To put it simply…science, and a trust in the innate instincts and power of women in childbirth.

Today, the Lamaze Philosophy, along with every practice supported by the organization, comes from current evidence. Lamaze teamed up with The Cochrane Collaboration, which prepares and publishes the largest collection of randomized controlled trials in the world in the interest of putting the evidence in the hands of medical professionals, educators, and families (www.cochrane.org). Lamaze members have access to the Cochrane Library in order to develop their curriculum based on scientifically supported practices.

In order to make these (at times, complicated) studies more readily available to the public, Lamaze International created a blog called Science and Sensibility (www.scienceandsensibility.com) to relay the information in easy-to-read terminology, and help families educate themselves about the benefits and risks of the medications, procedures and interventions that are typically imposed during the birthing experience.

The people at Lamaze looked at the evidence, made the smart decision that the whole *hee hee hoo hoo* thing wasn’t working for women and babies, and began to put their time and resources towards honestly evaluating all birth practices.

That kind of mindful evolution is something I can get behind.

Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator (LCCE)

When you see the LCCE credential, you know that your educator has completed a rigorous evaluation and education process, and has international support and the most current evidence on birth practices. Lamaze certification is the only childbirth educator program designed to meet the highest professional standards of the National Commission for Certifying Agencies (NCCA).

Lamaze of Today

Today, the Lamaze Philosophy revolves around Six Healthy Birth Practices which are a common sense approach to birthing that every pregnant woman can easily use to their advantage. In my experience, the truest things in life are usually the most simple. Each of the practices have resonated with my soul since the moment I pushed my son out into the world, and they are supported by science.


Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices


Lamaze Fundamentals

The goal of Lamaze is to demystify the birth experience and empower women to have confidence in their innate ability to give birth. Birth is normal, natural and healthy. There are many ways to manage the challenges associated with birth, including pain. Understanding how your body works and what you can do to benefit yourself and your baby during the childbirth process can help alleviate fears and manage pain. Each woman and each birth is different. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Even when complications or medical necessity occurs, knowledge of the benefits and risks of medications and interventions are critical in order for them to be applied judiciously and appropriately.

Birth Satisfaction

Lamaze can help you achieve the safest and healthiest birth experience to facilitate high levels of lifelong birth satisfaction. Birth satisfaction is not a luxury. It is important. Women with high levels of birth satisfaction bond better with their babies, breastfeed more successfully and are less likely to view caring for their babies as difficult and challenging. The first steps to high levels of birth satisfaction are education, empowerment, and an active role in the decision making. The experience of childbirth has a profound affect on women, babies, and families. The decisions (or non-decisions) during pregnancy will have significant, resonating effects.

Education

Choosing a childbirth educator, doula, midwife or OB is a great responsibility, and much of the decision comes not from books, but from the gut. You must be able to trust that your chosen birthing team has your best interests at heart and the tools to support you. It is much like choosing a psychologist. You must be comfortable with these people if you are to bare your soul. If there is no chemistry, birth will be hindered. Optimal results cannot be achieved if there is lingering fear or distrust.


Sometimes you can’t explain it, but this is the first lesson in parenting, trust your instincts. When you have a gut feeling that there is something wrong with your infant, you must be your baby’s advocate. When you have an instinct that they are fine, you must protect them from that which could make them un-fine.  The families of Myrtle Beach, the Grand Strand, and extended coastal Carolina areas are lucky to have this amazing, ever-evolving, ever-expanding group of childbirth professionals at their service. A good educator and a good doula will refer you to two others of their own profession to ensure that you are completely empowered in your decision and you have every option at your disposal to decide what is right for you and your family. Take the time to have conversations with several educators, doulas, midwives and OBs. You have options. Empower yourself to have the birth experience of your dreams.


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

2014 Myrtle Beach Baby Expo


Hynes Childbirth Services is excited to participate in our first Baby Expo!

Saturday, January 18th is the Star 92.1 Baby Expo of 2014.

Admission is free for Moms, Dads, and Grandparents to learn about the many local resources available to support pregnancy, birth, and parenting. From 10am to 3pm, we will have a booth at the Springmaid Beach Resort & Conference Center located at 3200 South Ocean Boulevard in Myrtle Beach, SC 29577.

The dates of our next Lamaze Childbirth Preparation Series will be scheduled according to the due dates of families we meet! Come introduce yourself and lets start the conversation about empowering your family to have the safest, most satisfying birth experience.

Myrtle Beach Baby Expo 2014
http://www.star921.net/common/page.php?id=301


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